Let's Be Friends

Guys! I’m Samm. A couple of years ago I had a blog with my friend Britt called Who Runs This Mutha. But then life kinda got crazy and we fell off the map. (We are still in love, don’t worry.) Well, I’m back. Sorry if you thought she was funnier.

So, let me catch you up. Or, let’s meet for the first time. Either way, Hi.

I have three kids now. Rex is in Kindergarten, Rocky is in his first year of preschool, and my little Bizzy just turned one. Why do my kids’ birthdays feel like funerals? They always hit me like a sucker punch and I quickly mentally escalate to a vision of dropping someone off in a dorm room and end up crying into my latte. When I look at my kids though, I actually don’t want to rewind time—I know that it keeps getting better, and more fun! But I also want to birth each of them again and smell their new breath and put their tiny toes in my mouth and the fact that I can’t do that makes me want to hide under a blanket for all of eternity. Okay?! And I felt some pressure around my long awaited daughter’s first birthday. It kind of felt like my motherhood Quinceanera. And then I blacked out and invited a bunch of reptiles to the party and because I couldn’t decide which pink outfit accent was the best I dressed her like this…

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It’s very nonbinary, I know. I did put Matt and the boys in gender-nonconforming pink shirts to even things out, SO THERE! Matt and Rex are always down for a good theme and Rocky fights everything until he finally stops and then I slide in and get my way.

Rex is living for Kindergarten and is running for Mayor of Beverly in 2019. He is starting to roll his eyes at me and when I cheer for him at his flag football games he looks over at me, throws his hands in the air and says, “whatever.” Yeah, sorry dude. Just thought I would throw you a bone and show you a little support since you have been running in the wrong direction on every play for the last thirty five minutes. At least he still snuggles with me.

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Rocky is at that sweet age where he is an unpredictable motherfucker who goes from zero to one hundred in a half second. His favorite food is the egg sandwich from Dunkin Donuts, except when he kicks and screams and throws it on the floor of the car because “it tastes like pickles”, which is about twenty percent of the time He is my greatest challenge.

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So I guess that’s where I’m at right now. One year down into being a mom of three and it’s pretty awesome. I will also say that Bizzy is insanely easy and happy and chill. And if she wasn’t I would likely be pulling what’s left of my hair out and eating more CBD gummies than I already do. #notanad #buttrythegummies