I am the mom of three perfectly chaotic little crazies— Rex (5), Rocky (3), and Bizzy (1). (Don’t think the girl was a mistake, I squirted lemon juice up my vag to get her after having the two boys.) I am also a wife to a kinda funny and really supportive guy named Matt. Once upon a time I was an attorney, but these days I’m just momming pretty hard core. I love Justin Bieber, the poop emoji, Deep Eddy Vodka, online shopping, sparkly shit, DJ Pauly D., Starbucks Lattes, peace signs, Marcus Camby, Fresca, sunglasses, and my electric blanket. And some other stuff too. Oh, and I swear a lot.